The baby manual

Remember when you were pregnant with your first child...and you went to hospital and gave birth to that sweet little innocent cute and cuddly and lovable baby...The soft skin..closed eyes...little hands and fingers...feet and toes... little cries that captured your heart... the good little baby in the hospital!....then you arrived home...everything changed...that little baby didnt sleep anymore...the little 'angel' cried all day and night...no more peaceful sleeps...and above all you did not know what the cries were ....thats when you shouted "DOESNT THIS BABY COME WITH A MANUAL!... here some silent tips and laghs for the official baby manual ^_^

I have a 6 week old son myself and here are some things ive learned...ive added some of my experience too for the laugh hehehe

1) In the hospital its still "honeymoon" when babies are sweet and innocent  and cute... wen you get home the honeymoon is over and hard work begins..it does...dont be in denial.

2)These little angel make you out to be the biggest liar on the planet...when you are alone they scream blue murder...when visitors arrive they are all of a sudden sleepy and quiet...when you moan about how little sleep you are getting and how he cries all the time they laugh at you....watchout these babies are pro's.

3) Dont let the cries scare you , if they can cry nice and loud they are healthy. Getting their voices ready for the choir!

4)Boy Oh Boy! You are not a parent of a little boy till you open that nappy and he pees on you... enjoy it while it lasts...its going to  happen...just laugh..I remember the one time i changed little ones nappy and i could see he wanted to pee as his peepee was standing erect(then you know :D) so i closed the top of the nappy and waited and he did his thing...what i hadnt known is how big their bladder is and just as i took nappy off i received a face shot loud and clear

5) Ok this one all parents should be aware of....projectile poop!...yes that stuff flies and stains! as  i said laugh it off and wash whatever needs to be washed ...dont get angry ...in fact i remember once when i was changing my sons nappy and hubby was sitting on bed behind me and the poop flew past me and all over hubbys leg...he was not impressed but we both landed up on the floor in fits of laughter

6)All of the first days poops after birth is tar black ... no odour at all just black. Dont get a fright it goes away after 3 days but it does feel like mud tho rather let the nurse change  baby for that time :) ...Oh how do i know what it felt like? lmao! well i was still in hospital and  nurse brought him to me for a feed,afterwards my hubby and i realised how dirty his nappy was so we decided to change it...needless to mention when we took nappy off and cleaned him, he decided to have another poo as i had him against my chest, so i had to catch it all otherwise it would have landed n the white sheets(and we didnt want the nurses to know we couldnt even change a nappy lol so off hubby and i go with hands full of poo to bathroom

.7)If you get home and baby is crying it can be one of a few things:Food, nappy, wet clothes,over stimulation,cold,warm,not enough attention and tired. You cant go wrong...its one of those.If you fed your baby and still crying find out if milk is strong enough. always check babys clothes arent wet as it will make baba cold and sick. Overheating make babies sweat and get irritable.a wet/poo nappy is never comfy-can you imagine having poo or a wet nappy against your bottom-really uncomfy.give lots of attention and love but also not too much, too many people around can overstimulate. your baby picks up on your depression which makes baby upset and that makes you more upset ...whole vicious cycle,so relax and hand baby over to someone else for 10 min so you can regenerate.Eat enough,remember you are eating for you and baby if breastfeeding.and last but not least babies fight sleep when they tired, rock,sing anything you can do get baba to sleep

8)Whoever said "slept like a baby" deserves one whack from every mother who knows babys DONT sleep,they nap. Most babies wont sleep through till 2- 3months old so dont expect it and dont-not wake them for feeds because they sleeping, they need to eat as their blood sugar drops otherwise. Dont let them go longer than 4 hours without a feed :)


Hope you all had abit of a laugh and got sum advise...i got moreif you need it....loads...just inbox me :)

oh btw i learned alot so far from my little one but ive been very lucky so far:
im very proud of our son,he could smile since birth(one in thirty babies can), he could lift his head and sleep right through from two weeks old. :D